Asshole of the Week is "The One-Upper"

Today I met someone, who as they left my presence, all I could say was "What an asshole". Nothing sums this man up better.

Other than "asshole", I will call him "D from Burlington- The One Upper".

I had never met this guy before today. I really could care less if I ever saw him again. He was involved in part of a conversation between a friend of mine and myself for about 20 very long minutes. My friend knows him through business. I swear when "The One Upper" left, my friend muttered something along the same lines as I.

It didn't matter what was being discussed, this guy knew better, had better, saw better, owned better, etc. If I drove a Firebird, he drove a Trans Am. If I had a beer, he had champagne. Know what I mean?

Our conversation involved topics on birds (of course) and photography. This was due to me showing my friend my recent photos of the Snowy Owl Angie and I had seen at a waterfront park near out home. Instead of "wow" or "good for you" or even nothing being said, which would have been fine... I got "I see you've played with these on your computer. I can tell you've blown them up beyond the max. They are grey and grainy." Stuff like that. He then asked me what kind of camera I have. I told him. Well, he had one waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than me. He went on to tell us how great it is, how he could get shots from across the street on his zoom and be able to print them with no cropping or manipulating whatsoever and being crystal clear. He even told us about the amazing shots he gets but had none as testimony... it was all in good word I suppose. Good for you pal but unfortunately nobody asked nor cares!

He went through my latest pics. Suddenly he comes to my Red Breasted Nuthatch pictures. He accused me of photo-shopping these to unbelievable ways as the colors were un-natural for this species of bird. He said it didn't even look like a Red Breasted Nuthatch. I felt like telling him how uneducated I am with a computer, not having elaborate photo-shopping programs and so on. Instead, I just said "that is how they look in my backyard, up close, on a sunny day, with the flash on". I should have said I have better food for them than he does, giving them brighter shinier coats.



He talked about how great it is where he lives. I get 12 to 15 Goldfinches... well, he gets 65! He has birds who do not migrate anymore, they just stay with him, because his property is so good, his feeders are so good, and the food is too! He's got Eastern Bluebirds that most of us won't see until May, and only if you are some ways out of the GTA. He gets four different species of Woodpeckers too. Blah blah blah. Enough!



I looked at the clock and was going to give this another 5 minutes before I would just up and leave. People like this, listening to them go on and on, and knock down anything from others, are nothing but serious time wasters, but he finally left.

I am certain most of us know a person like this... or have been exposed to someone just like "D from Burlington - The One Upper".

I just have to say "Lets all give him a big hand for being 'The Asshole of week' and it's only Thursday!"

People are Shit-heads OR I want Crazy Taxi!

One thing I have to say about the age of computers and e-mailing is that it is so much easier for people to be dicks, shitheads, impersonal and just plain rude.

My example of the week, excluding the horrible drivers I see everyday, is this...

I've been wanting a game for my Sony Playstation 2. It's called "CRAZY TAXI". I had game 1 and game 2 for my Sega Dreamcast and they were awesome. It's a fun driving game with a soundtrack of tunes by Bad Religion and The Offspring. The object of the game is you, the taxi driver, must pick up fares about town and take them to their desired destination... be it KFC, the Library, a record store or whatever. The more thrilling of a ride you give them, the bigger the tip you get. That's about all there is to it. It's just a fun game to pop in, play for a while, and shut off until another time. It's nothing complex, not needing to worry about special moves, missions, etc.


So, right after Christmas, I posted an ad on Kijiji.com. I've seen the game on eBay and sellers through Amazon.... prices range from $4.99 used to $30.00 brand new. I search EB Games at random who sell it for $14.99 when the game is in. I try to find it locally in hopes to not deal with any shipping costs. The game isn't expensive. It's just older, not impossible to find, just stores don't carry it unless it's traded in.

As I was saying, I post an ad on Kijiji. I got 3 replies within the ten days.

First one... seller has the game, no instructions or casing (no big deal)... he offers it to me for $5 but also says it's badly scratched and he's not sure if it even works... why did he bother?

Second one... seller is trying to sell 4 games, which includes Crazy Taxi... $30 for all four... I offer him $15 for two games. He soon replies back that there is great interest in the game(s) and will sell to the highest bidder. I don't go for that and pass. A day later he contacts me again, I find out he's a 12 year old, there was no other bidder(s) and he wants as much as he can get for the games. So he asks me "how much will you pay for the games?" He tells me he's a kid, too young to have a job and wants to sell his stuff for something else and wants as much as he can get. I stand on my price. "Whatever bro! It's your loss!" was his last bit to me.

Third, and most recent... someone contacts me from Thornhill. He says he's got the game, clean disc, all the instructions and so on are included. He wants $15 for it. I reply with "SOLD! Where and when can we set up the transaction?" The next evening, which is tonight, he writes me and says "I need money bad, you can have the game for $35." I reply with "Not interested." and I won't be even if he comes back with the initial offer.

It's just way too easy for people to be such jerks in this virtual world. It makes me wish I could reach through the computer screen and strangle the buggers!

One day I will have this game again... and such a$$holes will not ruin my fun.

Silent Night, Deadly Night... the movie

Ah, the holiday season rapidly approaching. Family gatherings. Food. Liquor. Carols. And Christmas movies. A Christmas Carol, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, ELF, Scrooged, Christmas Vacation, and the list goes on and on and on. One movie, or rather a series of them, that is not talked about much and too often not enjoyed is "Silent Night, Deadly Night" (and the sequels). Have you ever heard of it? Have you ever watched it in it's entirety?

It was released in 1984 and and all ads were pulled after only 6 days due to the controversy it created. Shortly after, the movie was also pulled from all theaters due to protesters and movie critics constant cries.

I have to laugh because 99.9% of the protesters probably never saw the movie. They were just upset with the whole idea of a killer Santa Claus. The film was released just 7 weeks before Christmas. One critic said "What's next? A child molesting Easter Bunny?"

The jist of the movie is about a young lad named Billy Chapman. It's Christmas Eve, he and his family (mom, dad and baby brother) are returning home from visiting Grandpa. They see a man dressed as Santa Claus stranded on the roadside with a stalled vehicle. It's Christmas Eve, surely they must help Santa get on his way to deliver toys to all the children across the planet. Santa turns out to be not so nice. He kills dad with a bullet as he tries to reverse the car and get his family away from the mean man. Santa then drags mom out of the car, attempts to rape her, but her resistance just pisses him off and he slits her throat. Billy watches this all from a hiding spot, clutching his baby brother in his arms.



The movie jumps ahead 13 or so years. Billy leaves the orphanage and starts a new life. He gets a job in the town's toy store as a stock boy. It's Christmas time once again. The store Santa calls in sick and Billy is forced to don the Santa suit. Can you guess what happens next? Yup, Billy snaps. He goes on a killing spree throughout the rest of the movie hacking, slashing and doing other things to kill the naughty people he finds about the town in his travels back to the orphanage where he has plans for the mean old head nun.



I guess 25 years later the movie doesn't sound that bad, does it? We see a lot worse in real life, never mind the Hollywood screen.

Part two is a worthy watch as well... but the first 30 minutes is a re-cap of part one being told by his younger brother Ricky. It's more laughable to me and one scene is rather famous for those who have seen part two. Anybody visualize the scene where Ricky shouts "Garbage day!"

I found and purchased part 3 recently for $0.50 on VHS. Unfortunately it's not even worth a tenth of that. I guess it's better than finding it as some rare release in one Toronto's more specialized movie stores and buying it for $35. Part 3 takes off a year or so after part 2. Ricky (baby brother) has been in a coma. The doctor brings in some blind clairvoyant girl to try and awaken Ricky... which she eventually succeeds, unknowingly. It's just a really bad stupid movie. Ricky is running around with a clear plexi-glass bowl over his head, brains exposed, and flashing little lights on the helmet. He begins a killing spree. It seems he has interest in the blind girl. So, when they end up in a house near the end of the movie, I found it rather comical how a blind girl running from the killer finds her way through the house with ease from one room to another, door to door, turning handles with no fumbling. Then, when in a room, the fumbling and feeling around begins. So lame, not even laughable.

I just discovered there is also a part 4 and 5... "The Initiation" and "The Toy Maker". Probably really rare movies to find and I have no desire to hunt them down.

So, if you've not seen the first two... check 'em out! They are on dvd now as a two pack! If you saw them years ago... re-visit. I'd still not recommend showing them to any young'uns.

Knotty Bodies Espresso Bar

Listening to the news for a bit on the drive in to work and I heard a tid-bit about a small coffee chain in Washington state called "Knotty Bodies". Maybe there are more across the USA; but I don't know.

I found the story interesting besides a bunch of scantily clad women serving coffee in bikinis, lingerie, etc. This chain is outraging a large number of women. These are the same who most likely boycott Hooters restaurants. It seems some politicians are in on it now too. They are asking people to start using their cell-phones and digital cameras to start photographing customers who purchase coffee from one of these establishments, then submit the photos to a website where they will be posted on-line for all to see. The point for this is? Is a person a perv for buying coffee here?



There is complaint that some of these coffee bars are close to schools. From the pics I have seen, I bet youths see and hear a lot worse through their Britney Spears videos and lyrics (example).

So, I don't have a "I just had to say" here... more like a "I just have to ask... who gives a s**t really?" I mean, come on... women wear bikinis on the beach. There are lingerie ads in store catalogs, weekly flyers, billboards, bus shelters, etc.

Sex sells, plain and simple... we all know that. This is not prostitution. If it offends a person, don't go there.



Anyways, in this day and age, is this really that shocking and offensive?

Toronto Roller Derby Final Game...

The sign says it all... Toronto Roller Derby Finals this Saturday November 21, 2009 at The Hangar in Downsview Park. Doors open at 6:30pm and game is scheduled to start at 7:30pm. The start time may be off as last game I went to (and my first) did not begin until about 8:10pm. This is the last game until next season beginning in May 2010. The game goes about 2 hours.

A lot of fun for sure but some things to know... this game is almost sold out as of 5pm November 20th. There is no reserved seating. It's bleacher like benches, three tiers high about much of the large room. Many end up sitting on the floor or leaning against the walls. There is only one washroom and for us guys it's a breeze to get in and out of. Unfortunately for the ladies the line-up at intermission is loooooooooooooong. I'd advise drinking little prior to the game. Finding your way into the hangar parking is difficult... or it was for me. I used mapquest.ca and information is incorrect. The street it tells you to turn onto pretty much does not exist anymore (Canyon Road if my memory serves me correct). It is there but it is closed off now. There are some winding roads within Downsview Airport and some of which go a long way to nowhere... as in dead ends, fenced off areas, etc. Last time I got there shortly after 6pm and didn't actually park my car until 6:50pm. It was frustrating. Now with it being near the end of November, the sun is down early, there is little lighting on the grounds.

I've yet to see that Drew Barrymore movie "Whip It". I can see from the trailers that obviously there is more flash in the movie than what the reality is of the Toronto Roller Derby. No guard rails for one. Our track is pretty much like duct-taped. So when the girls wipe out they can get hurt a lot worse and possibly hurt spectators who try to sneak in for a closer viewing. The refs and workers do their best to keep people behind the lines, at a safe distance, from the track. The sound system within the hanger is poor too. Music can barely be heard and in some areas of seating people cannot make out the commentators. Still it's a great game. There is skill to it. I didn't completely figure out how the game played until the second round. I also didn't read my pamphlet until intermission either.

Hopefully in seasons to come, as this gains popularity, upgrades will be made. I like the rawness of our derby but some improvements would be nice.

They also sell some merchandise from the teams such as t-shirts, buttons and other little things. Cash only.

So, I just had to say... if you can make it out, and tickets are still available, come on and cheer for your favorite team. Don't worry, I am unfamiliar with both teams myself... just pick the one that appeals to you most and let them hear you roar!

The Smoke City Betties


The Gore Gore Rollergirls

The Munsters Scary Little Christmas... BOOOOOO!

It's 42 days until Christmas. The annual Toronto Santa Claus Parade is this coming Sunday. People are slowly getting into the spirit of the holiday season. Television stations start playing Christmas movies or sitcom themed episodes. The stores promote Christmas dvd movies in their weekly flyers.

I just have to say this... or better yet... warn you to NOT watch "The Munsters Scary Little Christmas" if you are over the age of 12 or were/are a fan of the original television show from the 1960's.

This was a made for tv movie back in 1996. I bought this movie last year, never aware of it before, and may have had some kind of high expectations. What a let down! I mean, I should have realized the original cast would not be in it. Duh! The actors do a very poor job of trying re-enact the magic of the original cast/show. This had to have been produced on an incredibly low budget as well... one can easily tell by the set(s). There also is a problem with the audio transfer, if that is what it is called... the movie was made in English but the words do not follow mouth movements, making it seem like a badly dubbed foreign flick.



I barely remember the movie now. It was that bad and that forgettable.

Walmart is advertising it for $11.88 this weekend in the flyer... don't waste your time. If you choose to do so anyway, don't say I didn't warn you.

GROSS BLOODY MESS! T.M.I.

Lunch discussions are often quite interesting, appetite losing, right out hilarious and screaming "TOO MUCH INFORMATION!"

Take this diddy shared earlier this week.

Buddy's wife is ill with some sort of cold/flu bug thingy. It also turns out she is on her *monthly cycle*. She lets out a large sneeze in bed and quite a mess followed not coming from her nostrils or mouth. It seems she shot out whatever choice of *plug* she uses across the mattress and left a large splatter effect on the sheets that would have delighted a mortal Nosferatu.

Every word of this is true. Can we say "TOO MUCH INFORMATION!"?

I love horror movies and all the gore... but I am certain this would not appeal to me. How would I react? Reel in horror? Toss my last meal? Or just laugh about it after the shock has passed, easing the embarrassment of my partner? Maybe all of the above? One step at a time.

Amazingly enough, everybody kept eating. It just goes to show that someone's brain-to-mouth-filter just wasn't operating at that moment. I think I need to tell him to tell her to either cross her legs before sneezing or get a larger size of *plug*.